Nominated for a 2016 Off West End Award for Best Children's Production
Premiere at the Unicorn Theatre, Nov 2015
Remount at the Unicorn Theatre, Nov 2016
A group of famous fairy tale villains have been thrown into story prison because they are out of touch with the needs of modern parents to have ‘clean’, shiny stories without all that murder, scheming and darkness.
The Two Ugly Sisters, the Big Bad Wolf, Rumpelstiltskin and Captain Hook are unhappy at finding themselves locked up simply for doing their job, being villains, and are less than thrilled to have to share a cell with one another. Despite being denied calls to their lawyers, the Big Bad Wolf is confident he can secure their exit; his influential and much feted girlfriend Cinderella will surely come for him when she discovers what’s happened.
Cinderella does indeed turn up at the cell but it turns out she has some bad news for ‘Wolfie’; she’s met someone new, someone more on her ‘vibe’. Her new boyfriend is Peter Pan whose entrance is marked with the theatricality reserved for a self-help guru. Pan tells the Baddies that he has set up his own PR agency Forever Young Ltd. which he claims will offer them what they badly need; a real place in the new world. All they have to do is find the courage to rebrand and to make the feat easier Pan has worked out a new identity for each of the Baddies (except poor Rumplestiltskin who is forever being treated as a second class villain).
But the offer to compromise their identity in order to be loved by a new generation of children is not as straightforward as Pan has promised; he is hiding a scheme to establish himself and Cinderella as the King and Queen of a new story where they don’t have to wait till the end to enjoy their glory. On the contrary, in this story the Baddies will be reduced to whimpering, ‘nice’ shadows of their former selves and will serve Pan and Cinderella without a hint of opposition.
Will they sign the contract or remain forever imprisoned? Or will they find a way out without Pan? Probably the latter in all honesty as all fairy tales usually have a happy ending.
I'm a Monster